Visit today was short and sweet. 
Estradiol level- 1679 today!
  If I read correctly on internet, because we know internet is so right about health information-lol.  E2 (Estradiol) level should be 200-600pg/ml per 18mm follicle.  Which means, I should have about 8 mature follicles.  And they told me 9 total so hopefully this is accurate. 
Took trigger shot last night- well it was two shots -one on each side of my abdomen.  I'm so sick of shots in my stomach.  I don't know what to do with myself today because I don't have to take any-woohoo! 
We're going in tomorrow at 830 for the retrieval.  Please be praying.  We will know tomorrow how many eggs they were able to retrieve.   I've been reading a lot and I read online that sometimes follicles are empty and on the other hand some follicles contain more than one egg.  I am praying that my follicles contain several eggs each.  We just need one really good one to work, but the chances go way up the more that are retrieved.  All these little steps to make a baby....  each step is so important and it all has to come together. 
 
Today's visit was good news.  THere are still 9 developing follicles.  A few are a very good size. 
Estradiol level- 1482. 
Tonight I will do my Ovidrel trigger shot to trigger ovulation.  Then we will go in Friday morning at 930 for egg retrieval.  I feel like we're approaching the end of the race.  FINALLY.  These past 2 weeks have seemed like an eternity but we're finally approaching the finish line.  I'm so excited. 
Tomorrow is a quick visit to the office for an estradiol level only.  I will have oficially been at the doctor every day this week.  Crazy.  But thankfully I am off tomorrow and Friday for the retrieval.  We'll see what next week holds as we pray that these eggs are fertilized and turn into embryos.    A week from today I could have embryos inside me.  WOW!  The thought of it excites me.  I might be carrying one, two, or three babies next week.  I am overcome with joy thinking about it. 
Praying.......................  good quality follicles when they are retrieved
                                                that retreival is smooth and that there is no harm to follicles
                                                for good sperm
                                                for excellent fertilization once they are combined with sperm
                                                for great quality embryos that can be implanted
                                                for smooth implantation process
                                                that the embryos implant and stay healthy inside me 
                                                healthy outcome for me and embryos
                                                for trust in God with the outcome.
 
This morning went in again for estradiol and ultrasound. 

Estradiol- 1361.
9 follicles present.  Not all are a great size. 
Tomorrow we go back in for another estradiol and ultrasound.  And the egg retrieval should take place on Friday.
This week is going so incredibly slow.  I feel like Friday will never come. 
I'll post tomorrow with the latest news. 
 
Today Dave and I went in for an estradiol level and ultrasound.  It was so nice having Dave with me today.  My estradiol level is at 1188.  I have 6 eggs developing, 3 are a good size.  I will do my medications for 2 more days and the egg retrieval will take place this Thursday or Friday.  I'm praying for Thursday since that is my day off.  After retrieval, they will inject the sperm into my eggs (ICSI) and then we wait 3-5 days for them to fertilize.   The transfer will likely take place Tuesday or Wednesday of next week. 

Since we don't know exactly when everything will take place, I'm supposed to have enough medications to last through Wed. night.  Of course, I only had enough through Tuesday night, so, we called the pharmacy tonight to order more vials of Gonal-F just in case they are needed.  Then tomorrow I have to order another dose of Ganirelix to get me through Wed. night as well. 

After discussing the tingling and headaches with the nurse today, she recc. we change to a diff. medication.  However, today the tingling was not bad, so I had Dave cancel the order so I could just continue with my current med regimen.  I hate to change medication now and it be a worse outcome.   I just don't want to risk having a more severe problem with the other medication.  We're too far along to make changes like that.    If I can make it through the next 2 nights, I think we'll be good. 

The next worry comes into play is with hyperstimulation.  However, with my whole 6 follicles developing, I 'm not too worried that I'll hyperstimulate.  They say to drink gatorade and eat plenty of protein to prevent hyperstimulating.   I'm stocked on gatorade and have been eating eggs like mad-lol. 

I'll update you after our appt. tomorrow.  We're getting so close, I am excited and nervous.   Keep praying!
 
We are so blessed to have friends and family praying for us.  Even our 3 yr old nephew has been praying for us to have a baby every night.  While he was here last week I captured his prayer time before bed on camera.  It's so sweet.  I know that prayer is powerful, even from a 3  yr old. 
 
So, I didn't think much more of the tingling and numbness I had the other night, until I've had constant tingling since that event.  It's this tightness to my arms.  More annoying than anything, but the more I searched internet (bad idea), I got more worried about a possible blod clot.  So, I called the doctor on call to discuss the concern I had.  He called back within 10 min to address my call.   He was very nice, but reassured me that he didn't think it was anything serious.  He said he would continue the doses tonight and since I had an appt in the morning to address the concern in the office tomorrow as well.  And to call if the symptoms worsened.  I told him being a nurse, I was worried about a clot and just wanted to make sure that nothing was wrong.  My blood pressure is normal, my pulses feel normal.  I don't have a bad headache, but my arms are seriously going crazy.  I've tried to stay distracted today but the pain/tingling did not subside.  I  am praying that I can make it through tonight and that I get good news tomorrow.  He mentioned that they could possibly change my medication, but being this late in the cycle, it was probably unlikely to even be able to get the medication.  His reccommendation was to continue tonight and we'll see how tomorrow goes.  My biggest fear today was that they cancel the cycle.  I just want this all to be over.

This morning was a hard morning.  I woke up and realized i had forgotten to take my dexamethasone pill last night.  Being at the wedding and being distracted, I forgot to take it with dinner.  I remembered the shots, but totally forgot to take the pill, even though I had it in my purse.  I blamed Dave for it somehow, and yelled at him that he didn't have to remember anything.  I began crying.  I think I was just due for a breakdown.  It was going to be triggered by something eventually.  I know that missing this pill is not the end of the world, but my mind is telling me that I've ruined everything now.  When you're going through this, you begin to think anything you do could make the whole cycle go wrong.  And missing a pill, happened to set me off thinking I probably screwed the whole thing up now.  In reality, it won't.  The pill is to help the embryos implant, and probably missing one pill is not going to do anything to affect that.    So, I will continue the pill tonight and move on.  There's nothing to do about it now.   

I just want to be through with this.  This whole process is so consuming.  The injections are not bad, but the constant worry, thought, and focus on it makes you lose your mind.  It's hard not to obsess over every decision you make wondering if it is affecting anything .............
like what i'm eating, drinking, what vitamins to take, should i dance, not working out, not lifting, etc.  You begin to question everything you're doing and if it's going to af
 
So, people that talk about IVF and the drugs that go along with it, had me worried.  You'll turn into a psycho, you'll be overly emotional, you'll ...................  I've heard so many things.  So far, I haven't had many problems with the meds.  All week I've done ok.  Of course Dave's first night home was quite eventful.  We went to bed about 10pm. I was exhausted.  Last night was my first dose of Ganirilex at 10pm.  I fell asleep shortly thereafter.   I felt like I had been sleeping for hours when I woke up screaming......... I can't feel my arms- something is wrong!!!  Dave jumped out of bed and ran to my side of the bed.  We were both half asleep.  I was terrified - my arms were completely numb.  I don't know if I was sleeping on them or what actually happened, but after several minutes of Dave rubbing my arms, they finally began tingling and then returned to normal.  IT was the weirdest thing.  How it woke me up I don't know.   I guess not having feeling in my arms was a pretty big scare.  I think with last night being my first shot of Ganirilex, my first thought was that I was having some horrible reaction to the shot.  Let's just say, we will be telling that story for years to come.  We don't want any more episodes like that.  I want an uneventful night's sleep tonight. 
 
Well, I had an appt. again Friday morning.  This appt. was once again an estradiol level and ultrasound.  My estradiol level is continuing to rise- I was at 607 today.  Since they had increased my Gonal-F dose on Tuesday to 300 u BID.  I was really hoping that I would have produced a lot more follicles.  But once again lying down on that table and waiting for her to find something- it was not a good feeling.  As soon as they put me in the room while I wait for the ultrasound tech to come in, my anxiety rises.  It seems like an eternity until she arrives to the room to tell me what's going on in there. 

Today's results:
Well, I have 5 follicles that are of the size that pass to go ahead.  To go ahead with IVF we have to have a minimum of 5 follicles.  Which means, Dave and I are just scooting by this test.  I have heard many women say they only had 5 and a few of which ended up with triplets.  I know that the number is important, but I know that God only needs 1 follicle to make a baby.    It's so disheartening to hear them say that I only have 5.  All these injections and such a high dose at that, I feel like my body doesn't respond at all.  It doesn't make any sense.  You think you get a medication it should fix the problem, and even though it has improved, it's still not an excellent response.  I left NFC today very emotional.  I met with our IVF nurse after the ultrasound just to see what she said right away. I  didn't want to wait until the voicemail later in the day, esp. if it was bad news.  She briefly mentioned that were at the minimum to go ahead.  She said she would talk with the doctor and leave me a voicemail later in the day.

Voicemail:
I got my voicemail around 3pm today.  Since we were busy at work, I had forgotten to check it much til then.  The message was again disappointing.  My doctor gave us 2 options: 
1.  We cancel this cycle and try a different cycle in hopes for a better response.  However, she wasn't sure I will respond any better if we try again.
2.  We go ahead and I start my Ganirilex injection tonight at 10pm in addition to the Gonal-F.  This injection helps delay ovulation and increase the chance of fertilizing eggs.  I will do this for the next couple days until they decide I am ready for egg retrieval.

Dave got home today and showed up at work.  It was sooo good to have him home. I have needed to hug him and cry for days now.  I feel like this week went fast and my sister and nephews got me through the week, but I'm so glad he's home.  Talking over the phone about all this stuff isn't the same as him being here for it.  I'm relieved that he is here and we can go through the rest of this cycle together.  We discussed our options and we're going to go ahead with this cycle.  Both of us feel like if this is the best I will respond, we should probably go ahead with it and trust God with the outcome.  I know that he has a plan and I know that the right number of follicles are growing.  We are praying for a miracle- that more eggs will develop in the next 3 days.  It will have to be God that makes this baby.  It will be a true miracle if this works. 

I think the biggest challenge now is to keep a postiive attitude and wait for the next appt.  I will go in Monday morning.  As soon as we know more I will keep you posted.  Pray for the development of several more follicles.  Pray for a miracle.  God can do it!
 
I feel so incredibly blessed that my sister is here this week.  With Dave being gone, and going through this week of injections and appointments, it's been soooo nice to have her here.  I've been so distracted from the reality of what is going on and that has been a huge blessing.  I can't imagine sitting here alone at night and only being able to focus on what my body is going through.  This week has gone incredibly fast- I can't believe tomorrow is already Thursday.   My nephews are a constant joy to be around- they keep me going without a doubt.  There is never a dull moment, and there's def. no time to linger on what I'm going through when they're here and that's nice.  I wanted these two weeks to go fast, and so far things are going rather quickly. 

Today I had to order more Gonal-F vials to get me through Tuesday as the doctor ordered. Since my dose was increased, I would not have had enough to get me through the amt. of days leading to egg retrieval.   I called the pharmacy on the way to work and the shipment should arrive Friday.  Christine will be here so it will work out nicely so she can be at the house for pick up. 

I hope this 300u I am taking now is increasing my egg count and that they are a good size.  I go back in Friday to find out how things look. ..............
 
This morning I went for my first monitoring visit since I have started the Gonal-F (FSH) injections.  I was anxiously awaiting this appt. to find out if I am responding.    So, they drew another estradiol level today and then did another vaginal ultrasound.  It was interesting because I laid down for the vaginal ultrasound and the ultra sound tech handed me a clipboard to record her findings.  I found this a little odd but wanted to get out of there to get to work, so I went along with it. 
So, here were the findings:
Right ovary- 1 follicle 10x14 
                           1 follicle < 10
Left ovary:  2 follicles < 10

Well, when I left I didn't know what this actually meant.  So then I had to wait til later in the day to check my mailbox.  Finally at 3 pm I got a chance to check it and the messages was...
You're estradiol level is 127 and we want you to increase your Gonal -F to 300 u twice daily instead of 225.  So now, instead of mixing 3 vials, I have to mix 4 vials.  It's a very large dose.  This was a little disappointing because this means I'm not responding well enough with the previous dose.  It makes me worried that  won't have enough follicles.  However, I know that God can work with just one to create baby and I know that it's in his hands. 

Friday morning is my next check up.  I will keep you posted.  Until then, it's more injections...................