All dressed up for Stoney River
Private Dance Lessons
Horseback Riding
My period came right on time- July 13.  Of course we were celebrating my birthday that weekend- what a nice present.  Not what I wanted, but it came anyways.  Dave surprised me with a wonderful birthday- Embassy Suites, horseback riding, private dance lessons, two hour stone massage and dinner at Stoney River- Wow!  I wish everyday was my birthday- he did an amazing job- so thoughtful. 


I didn’t set myself up this month for a big failure.  We didn’t “try” per-say.  I didn’t chart temperatures, I didn’t take any ovulation tests, I didn’t time things just right.  I basically am to the point where I know that it will happen when God wants it to- no sooner, no later.  Nothing I can do will stop him from doing that, so I have to finally accept that his timing will be just right and in the meantime, I just need to enjoy my husband as much as possible.  Rather than regretting what we don’t have right now, I should be enjoying every minute we have together- just the two of us- because once a child comes, it will be two no more, but three plus. 

Our society is so good at making us focus on what we do not have, or compare our situation to others- and well God doesn’t work the same in everyone’s life.  He works differently in each of our lives and so we can’t compare our situation to another.   God has different plans for each of us too and we just don’t know what he has in mind sometimes- there is always a reason for what he’s doing, even if we can’t see it. 


What I think I should do or what I think I want are totally irrelevant- it’s what God wants.How wrong of me to think that what I want or think I want are more important then what God wants for me.  I feel guilty even thinking about that statement.  Have I actually asked God what he wants of me- am I doing what he wants of me right where I’m at now.  I do pray that I can be doing what he wants each and every day aside from my circumstances or desires.  God already knows those and he’ll take care of them in time, but what am I doing today? 

In questioning such big decisions as we “try” to have a baby, “try to sell our house, and buy a house- the question is proposed- is this God’s will?  Of course our minds begin to really ponder this question- if it’s God’s will- then why is it taking so long, why do I feel like it’s so much easier for everyone else, why why why.  The answer :  I’m not sure I know, but we do know there is an adversary that works against us- that tries to feed us lies and doubt.  There is an enemy who will try to steal our joy from anything he can, and sometimes when we’re headed in the right direction- he has to work extra hard to try to stop us.  I’ve thought perhaps Satan is making this harder because he knows we’re going to be good parents and raise our children to know the Lord and he just doesn’t want that to happen.   I’m not saying this is true, but it makes me want to try all the harder if it is.  Satan won’t get his way on this, he won’t.  God is so much bigger than any of our circumstances here on earth. 


Lord, I know that part of this waiting is to renew our strength, build our character and help us to depend on you.  Help us to learn these lessons while we do wait.