I called the pharmacy this morning to give them all our information to see if they will cover the injections.  We're still hoping the injections will somehow be covered so we can proceed with IUI.  Well, at the end of the day I get a call saying they cover 50% but our total cost would still be $6000.  Wow- this medication must work miracles.  I came home down about it.  Dave knew something was wrong so I told him they weren't going to cover it.  I just don't know what we're going to do.  Tomorrow I will call Dr. V's office to see if there is another medication we can do that is cheaper.   Surely there is another option- and although it may not be as effective- it may still work.  So I'm anxious to call tomorrow to tell them it's not covered and find out what they want to do now. 
               There is also uncertainty as Dave gets his new insurance plan to begin Jan 1 becuase he is on a PIP.  This basically means he is not meeting his quota and they are going to evaluate at the end of October to see if he will still have a job.  Well, if he doesn't have a job- we don't have insurance period.  And that def. means no assisted reproductive help.  We should know in a few weeks if he is still going to have a job.  Until then we try to figure out what plan to choose for this coming year and hope and pray he has a job. 
              Dave talked with Glen tonight - our next store neighbor.  H told Dave we would make good parents and Dave told him - we'd been trying for about 2 years now.  He said oh I'm sorry.  We never really knew their story but because they have adopted children - we wondered if they had problems conceiving.  They do have 2 of their own and 2 adopted.  Glen told Dave his wife took Clomid for a year before they got pregnant.  He told Dave- if we had to do it over again- we would adopt.  Dave's like- wow.  People that go through this understand and know it's not easy.  It throws your life for a whirlwind you weren't expecting and it challenges you in ways you never knew possible.  It makes you doubt and guess and wonder if God cares or if he even has a plan.  It makes you extremely frustrated with your spouse at times and forces you to work through things most people don't have to ever worry about.  It makes you go crazy and cry over silly things like finding out a friend is pregnant.  It makes you tear when you hold a newborn baby realizing the absolute gift a child really is.    But you know what- it makes you stronger too.  It makes you have to trust God with everything you have and stretch your faith knowing it's all you have left.  It makes you thankful you have nephews you get to love on, and thankful for a job where you get to hold babies everyday even though you don't have your own and wonder if you ever will.  It makes you patient.  It makes you confront your insecurities.  It makes you realize the absolute miracle children really are and thank God for creating them.  It makes you realize God is in control and his plans are perfect even though they may not be my own. 

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