Dave and I got to go home and visit my family over the 4th of July.  We were originally going home for a friend's wedding but it was postponed to a later date.  So, we got to spend some quality time with my mom, sister, brother-n-law and nephews.  I flew down a few days before Dave- so I was able to enjoy my nephews a bunch.  And I even got to baby-sit them for a bit while Christine and Rick went to a wedding.  We had fun in the sprinkler outside.  Cristian just sat there drinking it and Rick would ocassionally run through it.  I was probably more entertained then them.  I loved every second.  They sure do wear me out though.  I was ready for bed at 10p.  
         My period was due any day while I was home, so I brought some pregnancy test with me to test while I was home.  Christine was hoping I would test while I was home, but I wanted to keep it a secret if possible.  I started prometrium back in June after I ovulated so I was really hoping for a  positive this month.   The doctor had me take 3 100mg tabs a day, but after 2 days of horrible cramping from that dosage- I called and he told me to go down to 2 tabs/day.  It did make a difference- much more mild cramping.
       I started spotting Day 23 while I was home.  I was so angry by this because this is the same time I would spot prior to taking prometrium- and that stuff is supposed to lengthen my period.  I decided to wait a few more days to make sure it was my period- so the next day when I spotted more, I took a pregnancy test that night and it confirmed it was negative.  I got in bed that night and cried and prayed and cried more.  Why Lord?  This stuff didn't do anything from what I can tell.  If it's supposed to help lengthen my cycle so I can sustain a pregnancy- it didn't.  And if my luteal phase is not long enough- I will never get pregnant.    And further more I'm still having bad cramps.  Did surgery do nothing for me?  Talk about frustration- I feel so defeated.  As much as I don't allow myself to feel this way, I did.  I am afraid my heart is becoming hardened.  I am afraid of hoping anymore because I just can't take the heartache.  
          The rest of the time home I had my period- blah.  And Angi warned me but it was funky.  I guess the prometrium screwed it up.   
           We got to stop and see Angi on the way home.  We met her at Bob Evans for breakfast.  It was good to see her and chat even though it was a quick visit.  Rylan was with her and I can't believe how quickly he's grown.  Dave and I continued driving home and just as we arrived home- I get a text from Angi- saying her water broke and she was on the way to the hospital to have baby # 2.  That morning there were no signs of having a baby- but she did say she was ready for this baby to come- she's 34 weeks.    We did get an update since then- and Baby Jude was born healthy.  He'll have to be in the hospital for a while but he's doing good.  I'm so happy for them and very glad he's doing well.  It's crazy that she had her 2nd baby- Dave and I began trying before they did for this one- and now there's is here and we're nowhere.  Talk about crazy.  It makes me wonder how many more friends we will watch get pregnant and maybe even have a child before we do.  Well, at least on my pessimistic days- the thought crosses my mind.  I'm elated for them and share in their joy, but it's possible I think to have joy and sorrow in your heart at the same time.  At least I think it is.  It sure seems like it. 
The boys playing/drinking in the sprinkler.

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